I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize