i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
