saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
