it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
