He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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