So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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