i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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