I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
