It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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