I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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