try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
