i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
