hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
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Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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