i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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