We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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