Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
