We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
