So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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