Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
