Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
