Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
