it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
