just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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