sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
