i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
