About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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