it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
