we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
