i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
