go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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