i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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