i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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