oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
