Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
