Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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