Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
