you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize