i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize