But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
