zippers are such a cool invention
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
