He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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