yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
