i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
