normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
