your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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