At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
