like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
