I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
