How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
