brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
