Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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