Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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