i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
