Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize