Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
