Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
