Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We named our party play list daddy issues
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
