i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
