There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
