I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
