Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
