He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
