You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
