Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize