question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
