One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
