i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
